Chasing individual happiness through selfish means always leads to unhappiness and dissatisfaction.
The Primordial Error
When I first came into existence as pure, aware consciousness, there was just observation.
In the first moment of self-awareness, consciousness observes itself and realizes, “I exist.” Buddhists call this the primordial error.
In the next moment comes the feeling, “I am important.”
And with it, we give birth to Selfish Desire, my instinct to survive, and other primal forces needed for individual survival.
While this boot-up sequence and deeply instinctual belief is essential for survival, it’s detrimental to happiness as it causes all of us to cherish ourselves and our desires above all other concerns.
Self Cherishing
Self-cherishing refers to the self-centered attitude that prioritizes one’s own well-being and desires over the welfare of others.
Most people spend their lives doing whatever they can to make themselves happy. Perhaps others are invited to enjoy the ride, but often their desire for happiness is exclusive to themselves.
Every thought they have is self-centered and focused single-mindedly on what they want and how they plan to obtain whatever they desire.
Our entire economic system is predicated on the idea that individuals ruthlessly purse their selfish ends. In short, self-cherishing, the act of valuing one’s own needs above all others, is deeply embedded into each person and our collective consciousness.
Yet, it doesn’t work.
People have been pursuing their own ends since the beginning of time, yet no one succeeds.
Sure, some people present an outward facade of emotional success, flaunting their income with conspicuous consumption, bragging about their accomplishments, and generally hoping to get others to believe they have it all together.
It’s a fraud.
The Buddha was born a prince, and he had every advantage in life, yet he was not happy. He came to believe innate unhappiness was the nature of the mind itself.
Human Suffering: Understanding Dukkha in the First Noble Truth
The Buddha came to see suffering as the central problem of the human condition, and he correctly reasoned that if suffering impacted his life, given all that was provided for him, then suffering must be a pervasive problem that touches everyone.
If he could solve the problem for himself, he would have given his life the meaning and purpose that he felt it lacked, and he would find unshakable happiness and peace of mind independent of his worldly circumstances.
Self-Cherishing is the Root of Bad Behavior
If we honestly reflect on our past behavior, we will acknowledge that we have engaged in behaviors that harmed others. While me may find thin rationalizations and justifications for our actions, self-deception doesn’t erase the stains on our hearts.
If we honestly reflect on the reasons for our past misdeeds, we will deduce they all had one thing in common: selfish desire.
Every bad behavior we engage in we do for entirely selfish reasons.
If we carefully considered our actions and how our choices would impact the people around us—and actually valued other’s feelings—we would never place our selfish desires above the needs and wants of others.
We only act badly when we either fail to consider other’s needs and wants, or consider the needs and wants of others to be unimportant.
Self-Cherishing is the Root of Suffering
Self-centeredness has been our downfall across countless lifetimes. Despite our efforts and numerous selfish actions, we haven’t achieved lasting happiness. It’s evident that self-cherishing has misled us.
Now is the time to shift our focus from ourselves to other beings.
So far, we have prioritized ourselves over others, which has perpetuated our suffering. To end this suffering and attain enlightenment, we must start valuing others above ourselves.
Enlightenment is straightforward: prioritize others over oneself, and all spiritual insights will follow. Our natural tendency is to consider ourselves more important than others, but enlightened individuals believe the opposite.
Enlightened beings have found peace and happiness by forsaking self-centeredness and embracing the well-being of others. By following their teachings, we too can find peace.
Learning to Value Others
Changing our mindset won’t happen instantly, but with patience, practice, merit accumulation, purification, and blessings, we can cultivate a genuine concern for all beings.
This transformation doesn’t require a change in lifestyle, but rather in perspective and intent. Our usual view is egocentric, valuing things based on their impact on us.
However, this self-important view is ignorant and doesn’t reflect reality. It leads to selfish actions and endless problems. By embracing teachings that promote a realistic view of the world, recognizing the importance and interconnectedness of all beings, we can foster benevolence towards them.
Cherishing others is achievable. We need to comprehend the reasons for doing so and firmly decide to act on them. Meditating on this decision will deepen our sense of care for all beings, which we should then incorporate into our daily lives.
Meditation on Eliminating Self-Cherishing
In Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim teachings, recognizing the disadvantages of self-cherishing is a crucial step in the development of wisdom, compassion, and spiritual progress.
Lamrim teachings begin by highlighting that self-cherishing is at the root of all selfish thoughts, behaviors, and actions. It is the source of attachment, greed, and harmful actions that lead to suffering for oneself and others.
Self-cherishing creates a barrier to genuine compassion for others. When individuals prioritize their own interests, it becomes challenging to genuinely empathize with and care for the suffering of others.
Self-cherishing obstructs the development of altruism and the wish to benefit others. It reinforces a narrow focus on one’s own needs and desires, often at the expense of others’ well-being.
Self-cherishing hinders the cultivation of loving-kindness (Metta), which involves the generation of goodwill and love for all beings. When self-cherishing is strong, it limits the ability to extend loving-kindness beyond one’s immediate circle.
Self-cherishing gives rise to negative emotions such as anger, jealousy, and pride. These emotions are rooted in self-concern and can lead to destructive actions and suffering for oneself and others.
Self-cherishing feeds attachment to one’s own desires, possessions, and accomplishments. This attachment perpetuates the cycle of suffering by leading to disappointment and dissatisfaction when these desires are unmet.
Self-cherishing is considered an obstacle to spiritual progress. It keeps individuals bound to the cycle of samsara by reinforcing the ego and preventing the development of wisdom and insight.
Self-cherishing can lead to conflicts and discord in relationships and communities. When individuals prioritize their own interests, it can create tension and division, hindering harmonious interactions.
Recognizing the disadvantages of self-cherishing is a key step in the path to liberation and enlightenment. By reducing self-cherishing and cultivating altruism, individuals can work towards freedom from suffering and the realization of their full spiritual potential.
Contemplation
Consider what you read in this post and focus on the following first-person narrative:
My selfish desire is the source of all my negative emotions, unhappiness, and lack of fulfillment. The more I pursue happiness through selfish means, the more I become dissatisfied and cause harm to myself and others.
Object of Meditation
Tbrough contemplating the above the strong desire to abandon self-cherishing will arise. This determination is the object of the meditation.
You should hold this determination in your mind for as long as possible.
When you are out of the meditation session, whenever you feel selfish desire arise, you should remind yourself of its many faults.
In summary, Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim teachings on the disadvantages of self-cherishing emphasize the harmful effects of self-centeredness on individuals’ well-being, relationships, and spiritual progress. By understanding these drawbacks, practitioners are encouraged to reduce self-cherishing and develop a more compassionate and altruistic attitude toward all sentient beings. This transformation is seen as essential for genuine spiritual growth and the alleviation of suffering.