I suffered from excessive self-esteem.
Some would contend that I still do.
I won’t debate that one, but I can share how my wife completely and utterly defeated me in a contest of intellect and emotional resolve.
I humbly acknowledge complete defeat at the hands of a master.
She knows what is best in life.
Wedge Salads
Despite my lofty self-evaluation, my wife found a way to penetrate my delusions and get helpful information to me.
Both sides of this little interaction are aptly captured in Season 2, episode 16 of Modern Family.
This upset my wife for years.
Because I believed I was so much smarter than everyone else, no one could tell me anything. I always knew best, particularly when I didn’t.
Simply telling me things wouldn’t have penetrated my shield of arrogant superiority.
My pride rejected all information, not directly sustaining my lofty self-opinion.
My wife’s information came from a faulty, lowly mortal who doesn’t check her facts, so I didn’t hear her words.
But the words sunk in, subconsciously, through the back door.
Even if I had known she was the source of information originally, I most certainly would have cast a spell upon myself to forget it.
Then, later, when this new, utterly original idea emerged from my mind, it was washed clean of its association with my wife.
Then I was a genius!
More smoke to blow up my ass!
Check and Mate
When Wedge Salad incidents occurred, my wife used to go bananas.
Who could blame her?
After a while, my wife stopped becoming upset.
She used to mumble “wedge salad” under her breath and giggle — which was cool with me because I could remain prideful and enjoy the smoke.
She found the wisdom to see what was happening and use it to her advantage.
She planted Wedge Salads on purpose and waited for them to ripen.
When they did, she obtained the delightful satisfaction of outwitting the master.
She beat me at my own game!
Kudos to her!!!
I admit defeat.
I bow in honor to the superior mind.