If you struggle with acceptance of your Special Needs child, I strongly suggest you read that post. It will change your life.
Wherever you find darkness, the light is only one choice away.
I Hit the Lottery!
How likely is it to have a special child. Well, they measure that.
Mine is 1 in 10,000.
Talk about hitting the lottery!
Check out what I got in this deal!
Wow! I am Lucky!!!
My son never talks back to me with defiant anger.
Thankfully, he has speech, though content is limited.
It’s not content; it’s connection!
But he never angers me with willful disobedience or back-talk, so our household is peaceful.
Plus.
My son enjoys endless play and fun.
It’s like living with Peter Pan.
We play Mario Kart, Wii Golf, real Golf, we hike, walk the dog together, whatever I want, and whatever pleases him we do as a team.
We share the same interests and activities. He’s a playmate for life.
Who wouldn’t want that?
Plus. Plus.
My son can’t be spoiled.
He never becomes indulgent and entitled like a typical child would.
I can give him everything I have emotionally, and he just accepts it with gratitude and lives a happy life.
I can practice Giving, on steroids, and there are no negative consequences.
Plus. Plus. Plus.
My son loves me.
He loves me openly and completely with no reservations, doubts, or fears of abandonment.
He feels his challenges and knows he needs help.
I see the gratitude in his eyes, I feel the gratitude in his heart.
I know the Pure Love of another Being.
Plus. Plus. Plus. Plus.
Wow! Four of them!
Who wouldn’t want a son like that?
And this isn’t merely “looking at the bright side.”
There is no dark side. He and his love are entirely pure.
Exchanging Self with Other
My son is my Holy Spiritual Guide.
Every spiritual realization I have is from working with him.
I practice complete Exchanging Self with Other, abandoning my own will to fulfill his.
I don’t merely try to “put myself in his shoes,” that’s only part way.
I don’t imagine what he wants, weigh it against what I want, and try to compromise. That’s half-assed.
While consideration is essential for Kindness, a virtue, but it falls short of the mark I set for this practice.
- I ignore what I Want as useless information. (Difficulty 10) This never gets easier… well, maybe a little, but you never master it.
- I give him 100% of my undivided attention for as long as I can. Completely undivided. (Difficulty 5) It’s just focused concentration, something you should always practice.
- I determine what he wants, exercising my wisdom on appropriateness, and then I practice Giving. (Difficulty: Currently 0, Previously 10). This area improves dramatically with practice. It’s also just good parenting.
This practice is both easy and challenging, exhausting and exhilarating if you do it moment-by-moment.
I don’t exchange once for a moment, go watch a movie, and come back to see what’s going on. That’s not it.
It takes focused concentration until I permit him to practice Mario Kart or engage in some other activity by himself briefly while I recharge.
As a side benefit, he demonstrates the Qi value of Play, warming my heart.
I find the practice so rewarding, Qi inducing, that I find the times of recharge are fewer and shorter.
That happens with practice. Everything gets better.
I can’t spoil him, so I can practice whenever I want.
He likes it.
How Love Transforms the World
Love is a Choice.
Why did the deepest darkest night consume my soul?
I chose no.
I didn’t want an autistic child.
The Heart of Evil, the Darkest of Dark
Why did feelings of elation arise, like I won the lottery?
I chose yes,
I wanted an autistic child.
I encountered the fact about my child: He is 1 in 10,000.
I had a choice to make about how to interpret that fact and weave it into the narrative of my life.
I could choose to reject my child, and go to the Dark Side, assisted by victim-enabling groups confirming my life-sucks narrative.
I could choose to accept my child, completely and wholeheartedly exactly as he is, not wanting him to be any different, and I go to the Light Side.
Neither interpretation is being forced upon me.
I have the power to choose.
And so do you.
Which would you choose?
Love empowers you to choose how you see the World.
Everything else follows.
That’s Power!
Choose a World of Love, and you Live in a World of Love.
Choose Love!!!
It’s Glorious!
Please listen to Bette Midler’s The Rose below, contemplate what you just read, and reread it as many times as necessary until the message opens your heart. It will explode with joy.
Bette Midler, The Rose is the greatest piece of musical art I’ve ever experienced. You are G.O.A.T. Thank you! Thank you so much!!!
Fundamental Truth of the Mind
Every belief in your head begins as a seed planted in Body Reality.
Some information in the outside world enters your awareness.
Philosophers call these Brute Facts or, more simply, Data.
From there, you have complete control to interpret the meaning of that fact.
This is the key insight from Victor Frankl’s Man Search for Meaning.
Victor Frankl (1905–1997), You came first. Your Clear Vision Shines in Man’s Search for Meaning. Your Wisdom Guides me.